Hoover Dam: NV/AZ

Well, let me start off by saying, National Lampoon led me astray. I was hyped up for this dam tour and couldn’t wait to take the kids on it because they are obsessed with Vegas Vacation. What the movie didn’t portray very well was that this dam tour took us 54 stories beneath the damn dam. I was not aware that my claustrophobia was that bad until we walked off of the elevator and the tour guide let us know how deep we were into the earth. You know the earth I’m talking about. The one that is known to quake, collapse and crumble beneath your feet (or above our heads in this case). So, after walking off the elevator, my amazingly eager family tries keeping up with the tour guide and leaves me behind. BEHIND TO FAINT. I went down faster than the stocks for Little Debbie’s when I had to stop eating gluten.

What made my fainting even worse, was that my husband didn’t even come to my rescue. We all want that knight in shining armor, but instead I got a very sweet old woman who didn’t speak English to attempt to help me back to my feet. As she is trying to help me, Nathan has now realized I am not there because H, my sweet, sweet boy (Velcro child), starts calling out for me and I am nowhere to be found. Nathan finally spots me and runs over (I use the term “run” very loosely here) to me on the floor and lifts me up. Once I had recovered from this very traumatic experience, I assumed the tour was over as we were getting back on to the elevator. But no. I was wrong. We went up a floor and on to view the <b>leaking “bubble gum wall” from Vegas Vacation. At this point, I was experiencing a glimpse of enjoyment because I too love Vegas Vacation, especially that part. After my children stop asking strangers for gum to chew, we head on over to the powerplant where the ceilings are incredibly high. Truly a breath of fresh air. The tour guide also gave us a good lesson on renewable energy and also on how California steals literally all of our power, but that’s a story for another day. I’m now ready to head back up to the surface, but not before the elevator stops working while we are inside of it. That’s right. We were stuck on the elevator 520ft down. If I hadn’t pictured where I would die before, I certainly was now. The elevator operator even tried passing it off like this sort of thing happens all the time. Was this in the fine print on our tickets?? Finally, we start going up and I was one of those awful tourists that pushed my way to the front of the elevator to get off first. But I was safe, back on solid ground. There is a little museum area after your tour is done, but honestly, I don’t remember anything because I had just cheated death. Nathan and the kids absolutely loved it, so I guess that is all that matters. Have you ever gone somewhere and then totally regretted it? Am I the only one that freaked out on this tour?

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